I am excited about all that God is doing in our lives. First of all God is stretching us. He is asking us to live by faith and wanting to prove himself faithful in situations that seem harder to us than those in the past. Graham Cook said it well when he said " There is no security in what God is doing only in who he is." This has been true to me. But what security there is who God is!!! And eventually we will have an awesome testimony to share with others.
Our area down here is experiencing revial! We as a church have seen so many salvations lately. As a people this is a church who shares often but in there history never have so many been brought into the kingdom of God in such a short time. Not only is the gospel going forth with power but miracles are accompaning it. My friend from our training program last year is a nurse. She shared with me the other week that a baby was brought into the ER that had been dead for two hours. She worked with the other nurse to try and resisitate the baby but as she worked she was crying out to God. After 45 minutes of them working on the baby they got a heart beat and it was life flighted to another hospital. However, the nurse said as she left she looked at the other nurses and they were covered in gold dust. I know that seems far out but I think it was God confirming to her that he just raised this baby and has awesome plans for it.
One other encouraging story. The woman I mentor is an OT and she had a client whose parents came from napal to try and get her help. The girl is 8 and has cerebral palsey. My friend felt like she was suppose to share the gospel with this family but she worried if they would really understand the message in english. Balyor is in Waco and in there seminary was, as God would have it, a person from napal. She asked this person to come to her work. As she met with the parents she told her testimony and then took the girl to work with her. The seminary student came in and presented the gospel. A while later he came out saying the parents were ready to pray to accept Jesus!! One of the incredible things is that this happened on Friday and they had to leave on tuesday. After months even in a religious city no one else had shared with them. Now we have brand new believers going back to Napal to take their family and friends the good news. My friend asked the parents if before they left she and some friends could pray over the daughter. A couple days later 4 women gathered and were able to pray over this precious girl for 15 mins. She had one leg shorter than the other. It was significant and the girl wore special shoes. Well, they saw her leg grow. When the girl went to go she could no longer walk with her special shoe on. The physical therapist she was seeing confirmed the next day that though she looked for 20 minutes and brought in someone else she could no longer see any discrepancy. What a gift for this family as they head home and a testimony of the greatness of God!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Well our class has been going for a week. We are enjoying our classes. This tuesday we did an exercise where we spent time allowing God to bring to mind lies that we believe about ourselves, others and especially God. Then we broke up into groups of 8 would have one person put up their sheet of lies where everyone else could read them and the rest of the group broke the lies by speaking truth to the person. It was a bit scary to think of putting my sheet of lies up. Jason was willing to go first. It was a blessing! After he went everyone was ready to go and get rid of these lies that have been holding us back. It was a powerful exercise and one I would recommend to do with faithfilled trustworthy friends.
We have also been taught by Kevin Griesen. I am not sure I spelled his name right but he is a missionary for the IMB. Wow! He shared so many practical things about how to be effective in the harvest field. Most of what he shared was how to be dependent on the Holy Spirit. How to let him show us who he is working in and then to stay with that person while the Holy Spirit is moving. This man has seen movements happen and we were glad to have him teach us the master's plan and practical strategy.
Tomorrow we will be going out around Waco looking for what the Holy Spirit is doing and bringing the kingdom.
We have also been taught by Kevin Griesen. I am not sure I spelled his name right but he is a missionary for the IMB. Wow! He shared so many practical things about how to be effective in the harvest field. Most of what he shared was how to be dependent on the Holy Spirit. How to let him show us who he is working in and then to stay with that person while the Holy Spirit is moving. This man has seen movements happen and we were glad to have him teach us the master's plan and practical strategy.
Tomorrow we will be going out around Waco looking for what the Holy Spirit is doing and bringing the kingdom.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
This fall starts our church planting class. Actually, we start the classes tomorrow. We will also have a weekend retreat this weekend for our class. One couple is coming from Russia for this training. An awesome young lady, Jen, is coming down from Michigan to care for our kids and the kids from Russia while we are in class. Pray for grace for everyone.
The kids will have a new schedule to get use to. So will Jason. He is going to be working 32 hours a week while we are in classes to take care of us. We are in class 16 hours a week and will have required reading. Pray for Jason-- our family's leader.
Our kids are fun to be with. They were busy this past week. They made a "playtime castle" out of cardboard boxes and paint. Then they dictated stories to mom and illustrated them. Haven Marcus wrote a story about how to build a tree house. Roni told me her story was "Jesus' favorite kind of pickel". (it was pink by the way) That gives just a bit of insight into each of them.
The kids will have a new schedule to get use to. So will Jason. He is going to be working 32 hours a week while we are in classes to take care of us. We are in class 16 hours a week and will have required reading. Pray for Jason-- our family's leader.
Our kids are fun to be with. They were busy this past week. They made a "playtime castle" out of cardboard boxes and paint. Then they dictated stories to mom and illustrated them. Haven Marcus wrote a story about how to build a tree house. Roni told me her story was "Jesus' favorite kind of pickel". (it was pink by the way) That gives just a bit of insight into each of them.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday May 12, 2009
Well this spring has been a busy one. In march Jason and I took an exploritory trip to Uganda. We were very interested in the team there but inorder to go onto our next segment of training in the fall we needed to be sure this was where we wanted to go. We were asked to make a trip and see the conditions we would live in (only a tiny bit of solar electric but flushable toliets :), meet the team and just as important give the team leaders some time to know us and see if they would invite us to join them. Of course, through our whole trip we were asking God what are you saying?
The trip was wonderful. We had no snafus and the kids had a blast with Grandma and Papa in michigan while we left. The best thing though is that Jason and I both are confident that we should go join this team. The team needs some of the giftings that Jason has. The team leaders are wonderful (Tim, the point man, reminds us of Bob Tissot for those of you who know him). The biggest thing though was just how God worked in us. Though culturally it is different than here within my soul or being it felt like home. We were not in any rush to come back and honestly had our children been with us we may not have gotten on our homeward flight.
What does this mean for us? We have applied for the next phase of training. Our class now will end July 2nd. The next part would start up in september and run through feb. I think. The classes are in the mornings four days a week. This means Jason will only be able to work part time and the kids will have to be in daycare or have a nanny. Please join us in praying about those issues. We know if God is leading us to do this he will provide for our family and a good situation for the kids in the morning. We just don't know what that will be yet. The trip will end with a 5 week field work trip. We will go to a place near a work our church is doing but to an area that has not been reached. We will experience the very beginning of church planting and then when we have to leave the people will continue to be cared for by the team near by.
We also will be going on a family mission trip in June as a prerequiste to our fall class.
We are excited and challenged. I will have to be better about posting blogs so it won't be so long. Just as an aside. Haven turns 4 next week and is learning to ride a two wheeler. He is growing in knowledge and stature. I love how fun he is. Veronica has really come into her own. She has a fun personality. She loves to dance and is outgoing though she also likes to play "shy games" once she has someone's attention. She like to run and climb right now. I am blessed by their relationship to each other. They have their moments for sure but also just as often they are gracious and sharing with each other. I have heard Haven say more than once to Veronica when I have asked her to apologise, "That's okay Roni, your my sister." (said with much love and tenderness).
Well this spring has been a busy one. In march Jason and I took an exploritory trip to Uganda. We were very interested in the team there but inorder to go onto our next segment of training in the fall we needed to be sure this was where we wanted to go. We were asked to make a trip and see the conditions we would live in (only a tiny bit of solar electric but flushable toliets :), meet the team and just as important give the team leaders some time to know us and see if they would invite us to join them. Of course, through our whole trip we were asking God what are you saying?
The trip was wonderful. We had no snafus and the kids had a blast with Grandma and Papa in michigan while we left. The best thing though is that Jason and I both are confident that we should go join this team. The team needs some of the giftings that Jason has. The team leaders are wonderful (Tim, the point man, reminds us of Bob Tissot for those of you who know him). The biggest thing though was just how God worked in us. Though culturally it is different than here within my soul or being it felt like home. We were not in any rush to come back and honestly had our children been with us we may not have gotten on our homeward flight.
What does this mean for us? We have applied for the next phase of training. Our class now will end July 2nd. The next part would start up in september and run through feb. I think. The classes are in the mornings four days a week. This means Jason will only be able to work part time and the kids will have to be in daycare or have a nanny. Please join us in praying about those issues. We know if God is leading us to do this he will provide for our family and a good situation for the kids in the morning. We just don't know what that will be yet. The trip will end with a 5 week field work trip. We will go to a place near a work our church is doing but to an area that has not been reached. We will experience the very beginning of church planting and then when we have to leave the people will continue to be cared for by the team near by.
We also will be going on a family mission trip in June as a prerequiste to our fall class.
We are excited and challenged. I will have to be better about posting blogs so it won't be so long. Just as an aside. Haven turns 4 next week and is learning to ride a two wheeler. He is growing in knowledge and stature. I love how fun he is. Veronica has really come into her own. She has a fun personality. She loves to dance and is outgoing though she also likes to play "shy games" once she has someone's attention. She like to run and climb right now. I am blessed by their relationship to each other. They have their moments for sure but also just as often they are gracious and sharing with each other. I have heard Haven say more than once to Veronica when I have asked her to apologise, "That's okay Roni, your my sister." (said with much love and tenderness).
Monday, January 19, 2009
Rounke Chronicles, January 2009, Vol. 2
Greetings! To Our Friends & Family,
We hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years! 2008 was an exciting year as God did many new things in our lives. 2009 promises to be even more adventurous!
In August, Lakeside Baptist Church blessed us and entrusted us to Antioch Community Church (ACC) in Waco, TX. So we sold or gave away many of our possessions and moved 1,215 miles, southwest, to begin Missions training through Antioch’s Training Schools. We are now half way through Elevate, ACC’s discipleship school, with another semester to go. And Lord willing, we will begin 24:14, ACC’s church-planting school, next fall. But, I’m getting ahead of myself!
Elevate has been amazing! God has done wonderful things in our hearts and blessed other people through us. Our semester final exam was a 5 page essay answering the question: “What are the 5 biggest changes God has brought about in your through Elevate.” (If you want the answers you can read our blog archives.)
Christmas was great, as we were able to spend 10 days with Katie’s family in sunny San Diego! Okay, so it wasn’t that sunny and it wasn’t very warm, it was pretty much the same as Waco (we sure do get spoiled fast!). But, we were able to be tourists and visit The San Diego Zoo, the Wild Animal Park and Sea World! We ate too much good food and had lots of fun with family. Uncle Chris came all the way from England! Our kiddos had a blast and enjoyed Nana, Grandpa, Gram, Grandad, Aunt Patty, Uncle Murray and all their Colunga aunts and uncles! Already, we miss them all.
As I mentioned this year should be quite adventurous…as we are planning to visit Uganda, Africa, on an exploratory missions trip to Restoration Gateway (RG). RG is a ministry and church plant from Antioch, which is serving orphans, widows and their community with the love and Good News of Jesus. By Summer of 2009 we hope to have visited RG to confirm God’s call on our lives to join Him in what He is doing in Uganda.
Please pray for us as we seek God’s will for our lives. We love Jesus and believe He has called us to join Him in Africa, but we desire confirmation on where and when.
We are thankful for you, our friends and family!
With love,
the Rounke Family
We hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years! 2008 was an exciting year as God did many new things in our lives. 2009 promises to be even more adventurous!
In August, Lakeside Baptist Church blessed us and entrusted us to Antioch Community Church (ACC) in Waco, TX. So we sold or gave away many of our possessions and moved 1,215 miles, southwest, to begin Missions training through Antioch’s Training Schools. We are now half way through Elevate, ACC’s discipleship school, with another semester to go. And Lord willing, we will begin 24:14, ACC’s church-planting school, next fall. But, I’m getting ahead of myself!
Elevate has been amazing! God has done wonderful things in our hearts and blessed other people through us. Our semester final exam was a 5 page essay answering the question: “What are the 5 biggest changes God has brought about in your through Elevate.” (If you want the answers you can read our blog archives.)
Christmas was great, as we were able to spend 10 days with Katie’s family in sunny San Diego! Okay, so it wasn’t that sunny and it wasn’t very warm, it was pretty much the same as Waco (we sure do get spoiled fast!). But, we were able to be tourists and visit The San Diego Zoo, the Wild Animal Park and Sea World! We ate too much good food and had lots of fun with family. Uncle Chris came all the way from England! Our kiddos had a blast and enjoyed Nana, Grandpa, Gram, Grandad, Aunt Patty, Uncle Murray and all their Colunga aunts and uncles! Already, we miss them all.
As I mentioned this year should be quite adventurous…as we are planning to visit Uganda, Africa, on an exploratory missions trip to Restoration Gateway (RG). RG is a ministry and church plant from Antioch, which is serving orphans, widows and their community with the love and Good News of Jesus. By Summer of 2009 we hope to have visited RG to confirm God’s call on our lives to join Him in what He is doing in Uganda.
Please pray for us as we seek God’s will for our lives. We love Jesus and believe He has called us to join Him in Africa, but we desire confirmation on where and when.
We are thankful for you, our friends and family!
With love,
the Rounke Family
Jason's Elevate Semester 1 Exam
Question: “What are the 5 biggest CHANGES going on inside you and how are you keeping the breadth of teachings in balance with each other?”
Change #1: Experiencing Victory Because Of The Basics
(“Who We Are & What We’re All About”- Jimmy Seibert, 9-11-2008)
One of the greatest changes that has occurred in my life, through Elevate, is the victory I have experienced on a daily basis. Most of my Christian life has resembled a rollercoaster: I have gone up and down spiritually, riding the waves of God’s grace and mercy until I sin by commission (doing what I shouldn’t do) or omission (not doing what I should do). Jimmy has said, “Grace is for victory, not just for forgiveness.” Jesus has poured His grace and truth (John 1:17) into my life through the spiritual disciplines Elevate holds us accountable to practice. I have feasted on the Word of God through memorizing scripture, Sunday sermon’s and Elevates teachings, but the spiritual disciplines that have affected me most are evangelism, fasting, discipleship, and Lifegroup participation.
Through focusing on the basics of “Who We Are; What We’re All About” (Jimmy’s Elevate teaching on 9/11/2008) I have experienced victory. Jimmy said that our values reveal who we are and what’s important to us. He said by “desiring something, then disciplining ourselves to do it, it will eventually become our delight.” Antioch’s values, are the values of the King and His Kingdom: Loving God, Loving the Body and Loving the Lost. Through this teaching I have changed in regards to evangelism. Evangelism is what God put on my heart that night and because I desire to be faithful in evangelism I have disciplined myself to do it regularly and now I delight to do it! (Sometimes…it is often still a discipline and obedience, but I am being faithful and I enjoy it most of the time.) Through faithfulness to sharing the gospel I am now experiencing victory over the fear of man and bearing more fruit for the kingdom.
Fasting has been full of God’s grace. I have fasted regularly, on a weekly basis, for the past couple of years, but the extended corporate fasts have taken my experience of God’s grace to a whole new level! Steve Nicholson hit the mark when he said, “Fasting reveals what you’ve been suppressing with food.” I was suppressing frustration, discomfort and spiritual hunger with food. God also spoke to me through a classmate testifying she had a wrong relationship with food. The Holy Spirit told me I had a “wrong relationship with food,” As I prayed about it, God revealed that I “look to food” for satisfaction and that only He, ONLY HE, can satisfy my hungers. Without the extended corporate fasts, I don’t believe I would have been sensitive to God’s desire to give me victory over looking to food for satisfaction. Now, instead of going to food for satisfaction, fasting has trained me to go to God.
Discipleship & Lifegroup participation have changed me as well. In the past I have gone to Lifegroups, been discipled and discipled others, but never have I done all three at the same time. I have learned that there is no substitute for doing them all, all the time. Jesus tells us to love others, Mark 12:32, and the best way for us to love the body of Christ is through Lifegroup and discipleship. I need to be discipled for accountability and consistent growth, but until I had someone to disciple I didn’t have a regular outlet for my new growth. Discipleship relationships in my Lifegroup have strengthened me and the Lifegroup by encouraging deeper worship through personal transparency and transformation.
In Jimmy’s sermon, 9/20/2008, he said that “there is an accrued grace”, if our character has not been formed by God’s grace through obedience and spiritual disciplines we will not have the strength to live victoriously. Jimmy used the example of running marathons and said that “if you don’t train for the race, with the end in sight, you will never be able to finish the race.” Through the accountability of Elevate’s requirements, which are the basics of Kingdom Living, I have experienced more victory in my life than ever before! Because of the disciplines of fasting, discipleship and evangelism I am now consistently seeking God, loving the body of Christ and sharing the Gospel with the lost.
Change #2: Living As Beloved
(Victory Over The Darkness, Father Heart of God- John Dawson,
Identity in Christ- Margie Atwood)
I grew up in the church, but most of what I knew of God was His attributes of Holiness and Justice, and because I knew I was not holy I feared God’s justice. Through Victory Over The Darkness, The Father Heart of God and Identity in Christ I have experienced the Love of God in a deeper and more penetrating way than ever before. This experience of God’s love has brought greater freedom, peace and joy. It has been like fresh air to one locked in a dungeon, cool water to a parched man and gentle sunshine to one who has lived in the darkness.
Neil Anderson writes, “Next to a knowledge of God, a knowledge of who you are is the most important truth you can possess….The major strategy of satan is to distort the character of God and the truth of who we are.” (p. 47, Victory Over The Darkness) I used to struggle with eternal security, I figured I’d sin less than I did if I was saved, but I sinned a lot! By believeing that I am a child of God by faith, I have been able to overcome much of my struggle with security because I believe what the Bible says, not what satan says. One of the exercises that helped me really turn a corner in my feelings and understanding of security in Jesus was the “Yeah, buts” assignment. I wrote out 4 pages of scriptues refuting the lies that satan regularly uses against me! This has allowed me to have truth ready to combat the enemy.
The Father Heart of God teaching, by John Dawson, helped me to experience my adoption by my Father as opposed to my servanthood to my King. I have known that being a servant to the King of the Universe is a great privilege, but I had not known much of the Proud-Love of my Father, which brings peace and fulfillment. Dawson said, “I can see God calling over the angels, ‘Michael, Gabriel, come here. Look at them (humans), they can’t even see me, but they believe!’” John Dawson conveyed the Good, Proud heart of a Loving Father. He conveyed God’s heart to me in a way I have never known. Since then, when I am asking what God what He is saying, it is often, “I am so proud of you!” Sometimes I just sit and meditate on that truth and I bounce through my day with joy!
Margie Atwood really brought all the Identity in Christ, Father Heart of God and Victory over the Darkness truths together for me by saying, “You don’t have to strive!” In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus said, “…you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” While I used to walk in some truth: “I am God’s servant”, Margie has helped me to walk in greater, more balanced truth. I have personalized her quote: “Before God, I am royalty (intimate with God). My assignment is servanthood. My authority is over the powers of darkness.”
Change #3: Freedom Through Slavery
(Relinquishing Rights- Loren Cunningham)
Fear mixed with anticipation were the dominant feelings inside me when we sat down to listen to Loren Cunningham teach about Relinquishing Rights. The anticipation came from hopes of living in freedom and experiencing the Kingdom of God by relinquishing my rights, but the fear came from knowing which rights I needed to lay down: my children, my reputation, and my finances. Through Loren’s teaching & my response, I have changed and experienced the freedom I hoped for and the fruit of the Spirit.
Loren said “Relinquishing rights + retaining responsibilities = rewards of relationship with God.” And, relinquishing rights is “simply the way of the cross. Jesus gave up the greatest rights to become a man.” He said that we relinquish our rights by “giving our God-given rights back to God.” God has given me my children, my reputation and finances; I have worked hard to grow them. But, I have also experienced the burden of trying to manage and protect them. Giving my children, reputation and finances back to God, while doing my best to be faithful with them (relinquishing rights + retaining responsibilities) has changed me by deepening my relationship with God and freeing me from feeling responsible for those rights. I am more thankful to God for my children, reputation and finances, and I realize that they are gifts and can be taken away immediately, as Job experienced.
I have learned a lot over the years in regards Biblical financial principles. I have done workbooks from Larry Burkett and facilitated Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University and through these resources learned to be a good money manager. But I am more than a money manager for God; I am a steward of His resources. My money is really money loaned to me by God to expand His kingdom. When I see money as His, it frees me and makes me more fruitful.
My reputation as a well-liked person is precious to me and I have worked hard to build it. But, God wants us to share the Gospel for His sake and the sake of the lost. Often, sharing the Gospel causes people not to like you as light clashes with darkness. The fear of man was a satanic stronghold in my heart. As I have relinquished my right to my reputation and shared the gospel I have experienced God’s affirmation as a faithful servant and encouraged many people through prayer and my testimony. I have also experienced rejection and my reputation has changed, but to God’s glory; my eternal reputation is being built as Jesus said, “whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God.” (Luke 12:8)
Offering my children back to God has been the hardest right to relinquish. God has called our family to serve orphans in Africa, which has inherent risks to children: disease, war and natural dangers. My wife knows Jesus and I will spend eternity with her in heaven, but our children have not chosen Him yet. What if we go to Africa and experience tragedy? What if they become hardened to God through the experience? What if…? The truth is that the “What if’s” can happen in America as well. My children are Jesus’ first and entrusted to my wife and I to love and raise for Him. We are called to do our best with our children in the context of His call on our lives and He will glorify Himself in us and our children. The major change this has produced in my life is that I have learned to lay my rights to my children down on a daily basis by praying over them as I put them to bed.
Change #4: Seeking Submission
(Spiritual Authority)
One of the most evident ways God has changed me is I now seek to honor the will of the authorities in my life. Before, when God spoke to me, I used to consider each direction, reasoning whether it was a good or bad idea. Watchman Nee said, “This is nothing but the manifestation of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” (Spiritual Authority, p. 94) Now, I seek to honor my authority and only worry about reasoning when the command will lead me to disobey God. Three obvious changes are in my relationship with the body of Christ, at work and while driving.
In Christ’s body I used to seek to hear God’s direction for ministry. This is good, but I didn’t realize that He wanted to guide me audibly through the direction of the authority over me in His church. In Lifegroup, I asked my leader what he wanted me to do? He said lead worship for us. I now lead worship weekly. I used to struggle justifying all the “requirements” of Elevate. Now I realize that God has called me to honor the requirements that He has given me through Shoan and Elevate. By honoring my spiritual authorities I have experienced more growth in my life than I ever have before.
At work I now only seek to please my boss. I used to worry about doing what I wanted to, in addition to doing what she wanted me to do, that only complicated things and added to my workload. After realizing that God wants me to submit to her I only worry about doing the things I know she wants me to do, the way she wants me to do them. I have created spreadsheets that help me focus on only doing what my boss wants me to do.
I have also memorized 1 Peter 2:13, which says, “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men…” God convicted me about speeding, because I was in rebellion against the government. I thought the speed limits were unreasonable…there I was using my reason to justify rebellion. Therefore, I committed to obey the speed limit. This was unexplainably hard for me, but the submission killed a fleshly stronghold in my heart!
By seeking submission in every area of life I have experienced freedom and Jesus’ easy yoke. (Matthew 11:30) One great side effect is that I have also discovered more about myself! As I have sought to honor my boss I learned that I was built for an administrative/managerial role in God’s kingdom. When sharing this with the McCall’s who are working in Uganda, they asked, “How soon can you get to Uganda?” If I had not sought submission I would not have learned more about what God created and gifted me to do.
Change #5: God’s Heart For The Lost
(Obsessed With Jesus & His Obsession- Robert Herber)
I have mentioned evangelism in the context of Change #1: Experiencing Victory Because of the Basics, and Change #3: Relinquishing Rights, but God has changed my heart and given me His heart for the lost, which has produced my growth in evangelism. Robert Herber blessed me greatly through his teaching on God’s Heart For the Lost and the assignment he gave us to meditate on Luke 15.
Robert said, “We need a motivating factor higher than ourselves to share the gospel.” In order to get that motivating factor he challenged us to pray, “Father, break my heart for the lost!” As I have prayed that prayer God has melted the fear of man in my heart and given me a love for man instead.
Meditating on Luke 15: the Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin and the Lost Son; changed my heart as well. Through that passage God revealed to me that the rejoicing at finding the lost justifies all the pain and energy spent on “the search”, or sharing the gospel.
I have evangelized in ways I never have before! At the prompting of God’s Spirit I have stood up and shared my testimony at a restaurant! I have left my house specifically to share the gospel (above and beyond Elevate requirements)! I have taken advantage of every opportunity given to me at company staff meetings to stand up and testify about Jesus or my relationship with Him!
Conclusion: “How are you keeping the breadth of teachings in balance with each other?”
The Great Commandment (Mark 12:30-31) and The Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20), which make up Jimmy’s teaching on “Who We Are & What We’re All About”, are the foundation of the Law & the Prophets, according to Jesus. They are also the foundation that I am living my life from. Experiencing the “Father Heart of God” toward me and understanding my “Identity in Christ” have expanded those foundations and allowed me to walk out Margie’s quote, “Before God, I am royalty (intimate with God). My assignment is servanthood. My authority is over the powers of darkness.”
These foundational truths could be twisted by satan into temptations of pride; attempts to make me think I am something in and of myself, apart from God. This is where “Relinquishing Rights” and “Spiritual Authority” keep me in check. “Relinquishing Rights” reminds me that everything I am and have is a gift from God to be utilized for His kingdom and glory. “Spiritual Authority” guides me into how to live humbly, on the straight and narrow road to heaven.
The grace-appropriating spiritual disciplines, that we do weekly, keep me in balance, as well. Spending time with Jesus every morning focuses me on Jesus, His kingdom and my purpose. Fasting keeps my flesh in check, while filling my heart with scripture through reading and memorization helps me to keep my way pure, Psalm 119:9. Evangelism helps me fight against the kingdom of darkness while regular fellowship (Lifegroup & Discipleship) keeps me strong in Lord and His mighty power, Ephesians 6:10.
Change #1: Experiencing Victory Because Of The Basics
(“Who We Are & What We’re All About”- Jimmy Seibert, 9-11-2008)
One of the greatest changes that has occurred in my life, through Elevate, is the victory I have experienced on a daily basis. Most of my Christian life has resembled a rollercoaster: I have gone up and down spiritually, riding the waves of God’s grace and mercy until I sin by commission (doing what I shouldn’t do) or omission (not doing what I should do). Jimmy has said, “Grace is for victory, not just for forgiveness.” Jesus has poured His grace and truth (John 1:17) into my life through the spiritual disciplines Elevate holds us accountable to practice. I have feasted on the Word of God through memorizing scripture, Sunday sermon’s and Elevates teachings, but the spiritual disciplines that have affected me most are evangelism, fasting, discipleship, and Lifegroup participation.
Through focusing on the basics of “Who We Are; What We’re All About” (Jimmy’s Elevate teaching on 9/11/2008) I have experienced victory. Jimmy said that our values reveal who we are and what’s important to us. He said by “desiring something, then disciplining ourselves to do it, it will eventually become our delight.” Antioch’s values, are the values of the King and His Kingdom: Loving God, Loving the Body and Loving the Lost. Through this teaching I have changed in regards to evangelism. Evangelism is what God put on my heart that night and because I desire to be faithful in evangelism I have disciplined myself to do it regularly and now I delight to do it! (Sometimes…it is often still a discipline and obedience, but I am being faithful and I enjoy it most of the time.) Through faithfulness to sharing the gospel I am now experiencing victory over the fear of man and bearing more fruit for the kingdom.
Fasting has been full of God’s grace. I have fasted regularly, on a weekly basis, for the past couple of years, but the extended corporate fasts have taken my experience of God’s grace to a whole new level! Steve Nicholson hit the mark when he said, “Fasting reveals what you’ve been suppressing with food.” I was suppressing frustration, discomfort and spiritual hunger with food. God also spoke to me through a classmate testifying she had a wrong relationship with food. The Holy Spirit told me I had a “wrong relationship with food,” As I prayed about it, God revealed that I “look to food” for satisfaction and that only He, ONLY HE, can satisfy my hungers. Without the extended corporate fasts, I don’t believe I would have been sensitive to God’s desire to give me victory over looking to food for satisfaction. Now, instead of going to food for satisfaction, fasting has trained me to go to God.
Discipleship & Lifegroup participation have changed me as well. In the past I have gone to Lifegroups, been discipled and discipled others, but never have I done all three at the same time. I have learned that there is no substitute for doing them all, all the time. Jesus tells us to love others, Mark 12:32, and the best way for us to love the body of Christ is through Lifegroup and discipleship. I need to be discipled for accountability and consistent growth, but until I had someone to disciple I didn’t have a regular outlet for my new growth. Discipleship relationships in my Lifegroup have strengthened me and the Lifegroup by encouraging deeper worship through personal transparency and transformation.
In Jimmy’s sermon, 9/20/2008, he said that “there is an accrued grace”, if our character has not been formed by God’s grace through obedience and spiritual disciplines we will not have the strength to live victoriously. Jimmy used the example of running marathons and said that “if you don’t train for the race, with the end in sight, you will never be able to finish the race.” Through the accountability of Elevate’s requirements, which are the basics of Kingdom Living, I have experienced more victory in my life than ever before! Because of the disciplines of fasting, discipleship and evangelism I am now consistently seeking God, loving the body of Christ and sharing the Gospel with the lost.
Change #2: Living As Beloved
(Victory Over The Darkness, Father Heart of God- John Dawson,
Identity in Christ- Margie Atwood)
I grew up in the church, but most of what I knew of God was His attributes of Holiness and Justice, and because I knew I was not holy I feared God’s justice. Through Victory Over The Darkness, The Father Heart of God and Identity in Christ I have experienced the Love of God in a deeper and more penetrating way than ever before. This experience of God’s love has brought greater freedom, peace and joy. It has been like fresh air to one locked in a dungeon, cool water to a parched man and gentle sunshine to one who has lived in the darkness.
Neil Anderson writes, “Next to a knowledge of God, a knowledge of who you are is the most important truth you can possess….The major strategy of satan is to distort the character of God and the truth of who we are.” (p. 47, Victory Over The Darkness) I used to struggle with eternal security, I figured I’d sin less than I did if I was saved, but I sinned a lot! By believeing that I am a child of God by faith, I have been able to overcome much of my struggle with security because I believe what the Bible says, not what satan says. One of the exercises that helped me really turn a corner in my feelings and understanding of security in Jesus was the “Yeah, buts” assignment. I wrote out 4 pages of scriptues refuting the lies that satan regularly uses against me! This has allowed me to have truth ready to combat the enemy.
The Father Heart of God teaching, by John Dawson, helped me to experience my adoption by my Father as opposed to my servanthood to my King. I have known that being a servant to the King of the Universe is a great privilege, but I had not known much of the Proud-Love of my Father, which brings peace and fulfillment. Dawson said, “I can see God calling over the angels, ‘Michael, Gabriel, come here. Look at them (humans), they can’t even see me, but they believe!’” John Dawson conveyed the Good, Proud heart of a Loving Father. He conveyed God’s heart to me in a way I have never known. Since then, when I am asking what God what He is saying, it is often, “I am so proud of you!” Sometimes I just sit and meditate on that truth and I bounce through my day with joy!
Margie Atwood really brought all the Identity in Christ, Father Heart of God and Victory over the Darkness truths together for me by saying, “You don’t have to strive!” In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus said, “…you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” While I used to walk in some truth: “I am God’s servant”, Margie has helped me to walk in greater, more balanced truth. I have personalized her quote: “Before God, I am royalty (intimate with God). My assignment is servanthood. My authority is over the powers of darkness.”
Change #3: Freedom Through Slavery
(Relinquishing Rights- Loren Cunningham)
Fear mixed with anticipation were the dominant feelings inside me when we sat down to listen to Loren Cunningham teach about Relinquishing Rights. The anticipation came from hopes of living in freedom and experiencing the Kingdom of God by relinquishing my rights, but the fear came from knowing which rights I needed to lay down: my children, my reputation, and my finances. Through Loren’s teaching & my response, I have changed and experienced the freedom I hoped for and the fruit of the Spirit.
Loren said “Relinquishing rights + retaining responsibilities = rewards of relationship with God.” And, relinquishing rights is “simply the way of the cross. Jesus gave up the greatest rights to become a man.” He said that we relinquish our rights by “giving our God-given rights back to God.” God has given me my children, my reputation and finances; I have worked hard to grow them. But, I have also experienced the burden of trying to manage and protect them. Giving my children, reputation and finances back to God, while doing my best to be faithful with them (relinquishing rights + retaining responsibilities) has changed me by deepening my relationship with God and freeing me from feeling responsible for those rights. I am more thankful to God for my children, reputation and finances, and I realize that they are gifts and can be taken away immediately, as Job experienced.
I have learned a lot over the years in regards Biblical financial principles. I have done workbooks from Larry Burkett and facilitated Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University and through these resources learned to be a good money manager. But I am more than a money manager for God; I am a steward of His resources. My money is really money loaned to me by God to expand His kingdom. When I see money as His, it frees me and makes me more fruitful.
My reputation as a well-liked person is precious to me and I have worked hard to build it. But, God wants us to share the Gospel for His sake and the sake of the lost. Often, sharing the Gospel causes people not to like you as light clashes with darkness. The fear of man was a satanic stronghold in my heart. As I have relinquished my right to my reputation and shared the gospel I have experienced God’s affirmation as a faithful servant and encouraged many people through prayer and my testimony. I have also experienced rejection and my reputation has changed, but to God’s glory; my eternal reputation is being built as Jesus said, “whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God.” (Luke 12:8)
Offering my children back to God has been the hardest right to relinquish. God has called our family to serve orphans in Africa, which has inherent risks to children: disease, war and natural dangers. My wife knows Jesus and I will spend eternity with her in heaven, but our children have not chosen Him yet. What if we go to Africa and experience tragedy? What if they become hardened to God through the experience? What if…? The truth is that the “What if’s” can happen in America as well. My children are Jesus’ first and entrusted to my wife and I to love and raise for Him. We are called to do our best with our children in the context of His call on our lives and He will glorify Himself in us and our children. The major change this has produced in my life is that I have learned to lay my rights to my children down on a daily basis by praying over them as I put them to bed.
Change #4: Seeking Submission
(Spiritual Authority)
One of the most evident ways God has changed me is I now seek to honor the will of the authorities in my life. Before, when God spoke to me, I used to consider each direction, reasoning whether it was a good or bad idea. Watchman Nee said, “This is nothing but the manifestation of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” (Spiritual Authority, p. 94) Now, I seek to honor my authority and only worry about reasoning when the command will lead me to disobey God. Three obvious changes are in my relationship with the body of Christ, at work and while driving.
In Christ’s body I used to seek to hear God’s direction for ministry. This is good, but I didn’t realize that He wanted to guide me audibly through the direction of the authority over me in His church. In Lifegroup, I asked my leader what he wanted me to do? He said lead worship for us. I now lead worship weekly. I used to struggle justifying all the “requirements” of Elevate. Now I realize that God has called me to honor the requirements that He has given me through Shoan and Elevate. By honoring my spiritual authorities I have experienced more growth in my life than I ever have before.
At work I now only seek to please my boss. I used to worry about doing what I wanted to, in addition to doing what she wanted me to do, that only complicated things and added to my workload. After realizing that God wants me to submit to her I only worry about doing the things I know she wants me to do, the way she wants me to do them. I have created spreadsheets that help me focus on only doing what my boss wants me to do.
I have also memorized 1 Peter 2:13, which says, “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men…” God convicted me about speeding, because I was in rebellion against the government. I thought the speed limits were unreasonable…there I was using my reason to justify rebellion. Therefore, I committed to obey the speed limit. This was unexplainably hard for me, but the submission killed a fleshly stronghold in my heart!
By seeking submission in every area of life I have experienced freedom and Jesus’ easy yoke. (Matthew 11:30) One great side effect is that I have also discovered more about myself! As I have sought to honor my boss I learned that I was built for an administrative/managerial role in God’s kingdom. When sharing this with the McCall’s who are working in Uganda, they asked, “How soon can you get to Uganda?” If I had not sought submission I would not have learned more about what God created and gifted me to do.
Change #5: God’s Heart For The Lost
(Obsessed With Jesus & His Obsession- Robert Herber)
I have mentioned evangelism in the context of Change #1: Experiencing Victory Because of the Basics, and Change #3: Relinquishing Rights, but God has changed my heart and given me His heart for the lost, which has produced my growth in evangelism. Robert Herber blessed me greatly through his teaching on God’s Heart For the Lost and the assignment he gave us to meditate on Luke 15.
Robert said, “We need a motivating factor higher than ourselves to share the gospel.” In order to get that motivating factor he challenged us to pray, “Father, break my heart for the lost!” As I have prayed that prayer God has melted the fear of man in my heart and given me a love for man instead.
Meditating on Luke 15: the Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin and the Lost Son; changed my heart as well. Through that passage God revealed to me that the rejoicing at finding the lost justifies all the pain and energy spent on “the search”, or sharing the gospel.
I have evangelized in ways I never have before! At the prompting of God’s Spirit I have stood up and shared my testimony at a restaurant! I have left my house specifically to share the gospel (above and beyond Elevate requirements)! I have taken advantage of every opportunity given to me at company staff meetings to stand up and testify about Jesus or my relationship with Him!
Conclusion: “How are you keeping the breadth of teachings in balance with each other?”
The Great Commandment (Mark 12:30-31) and The Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20), which make up Jimmy’s teaching on “Who We Are & What We’re All About”, are the foundation of the Law & the Prophets, according to Jesus. They are also the foundation that I am living my life from. Experiencing the “Father Heart of God” toward me and understanding my “Identity in Christ” have expanded those foundations and allowed me to walk out Margie’s quote, “Before God, I am royalty (intimate with God). My assignment is servanthood. My authority is over the powers of darkness.”
These foundational truths could be twisted by satan into temptations of pride; attempts to make me think I am something in and of myself, apart from God. This is where “Relinquishing Rights” and “Spiritual Authority” keep me in check. “Relinquishing Rights” reminds me that everything I am and have is a gift from God to be utilized for His kingdom and glory. “Spiritual Authority” guides me into how to live humbly, on the straight and narrow road to heaven.
The grace-appropriating spiritual disciplines, that we do weekly, keep me in balance, as well. Spending time with Jesus every morning focuses me on Jesus, His kingdom and my purpose. Fasting keeps my flesh in check, while filling my heart with scripture through reading and memorization helps me to keep my way pure, Psalm 119:9. Evangelism helps me fight against the kingdom of darkness while regular fellowship (Lifegroup & Discipleship) keeps me strong in Lord and His mighty power, Ephesians 6:10.
Katie's Elevate Semester 1 Exam
Question: “What are the 5 biggest CHANGES going on inside you and how are you keeping the breadth of teachings in balance with each other?”
The five biggest changes I see going on inside of me are choosing to fully trust God again, increased faith, emotional healing that has brought freedom, a paradigm shift in relating to God and the fact that I am hearing God more. It is actually hard to separate some of these as they seem to be happening in tandem. Hopefully as the paper continues the truth of what God is doing within me will unfold.
I am especially struggling with separating choosing to fully trust God again, increased faith and emotional healing. These three are messy because my life is messy, but I will try and be clear in each change and believe that you will be able to see how these are continually leaking all over each other.
At the beginning of elevate I was withholding part of myself from God. Through disappointment and trial I began to agree with some of Satan’s accusations against God. For example, maybe God doesn’t always have my best in mind and God might use me (as in an abusive way). However, I knew enough that I also couldn’t walk away from ministry. Matthew 16:25 says, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” I was trying to save a part of my life.
Early on in the semester I realized where I was at. I saw some of the accusations I made against God and the lies that they were. I knew that I needed to come back to the place where I trusted God fully.
The Father Heart of God was a great teaching to speak the truth of how deeply God loves, how interested He is in me and how He sees even when no one else does. I loved the picture John Dawson painted of David laying down his life for the sheep when the lion came. He said, ”No one saw that night except all of heaven.” It was a good reminder that God is not like us. That even my attempts to trust Him can inspire Him. He also mentioned that God is interested in us and attracted to us. That God delights in my appearance. These comments washed my mind with their truth.
Gus Hunter came to speak about hearing God but over and over his message was, “Don’t try to be in control. It is about trusting God no matter what happens.” One of his examples was Mary and the events leading up to Jesus’ birth (and beyond). Gus told us the purpose of life was becoming one with the person of God. Vessels filled with and one with God. These were great exhortations to repent and relax fully in the hands of God.
The other teaching that was a real kicker in this area was Relinquishing Rights. As I have already stated there were rights I was trying to hold onto. I could relate when Loren said, “Often it is the little things we won’t relinquish”. Some of the little things were wrong goals. Neil Anderson points out in Victory Over the Darkness, we can tell when we have the wrong goals when we are easily irritated or frustrated. The light bulb was going on. As I chose to relinquish rights I was holding onto, I trusted God with them. I now have less fear than I did before because I am not trying to protect myself or my kids. At least, not from God and what He might ask me to do.
The second change I will share is that my faith has been built up. Joe Ewen gave Jason and me Psalm 34:10 and told us to plaster it all over our house. Psalm 34:10 says, “The lions may grow weak and hungry but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” He broke off a fear of lack that I wasn’t even aware of but that was certainly there. Part of the implications were financial but that was only part.
I have been a little afraid of the need with which we will encounter in Africa. There will be such a material and emotional need. Yet God also spoke to us through Joe about God doing miracles like he did with the loaves and the fishes. When we give the little that we have, He will multiple it to meet the need and have an abundance left over. This is a promise I am holding onto and keeping before me. It is changing the way I think. One little example is eating out with my family. I love to give and can be extravagant (for us) when giving to God. However, eating out as I was growing up was often looked at as wasteful. I can be a tight wad for sure, so though Jason would love to, I rarely would go along with eating out. Now I am still all for being a good steward but I am no longer a tight wad because of fearing lack in the future. Now I can go out occasionally just to enjoy God’s provision.
The deal with my faith growing along the lines of lack goes further though. Bill Johnson was teaching on Jesus being in the boat with the disciples. Jesus told the disciples to beware of the yeast of the Pharisees. The disciples didn’t understand and thought He might be saying this because they had not brought bread. Bill shares Jesus’ response to the disciples and the question that has haunted me is, “Why do you begin to reason with what you lack?” Jesus then took the disciples through a thought process showing them that when they had more people to feed and less food they had more leftovers. God is not limited by our lack.
I still can easily slip into my old patterns for thinking but I am noticing a change. It is not just knowing that God can do the impossible with my mind. My spirit has changed, or been strengthened perhaps, in this area. John Dawson said that we should expect God to be generous with us. Not that it is our right. We don’t demand it but we should have expectation. I think that is a good description of where I am at.
The third change I have seen is emotional healing and restoration. God affirmed me in multiple ways at the beginning of the semester that He was going to do this. It has taken until the end of the semester to say it has happened. I needed God to come speak restoration and treat me tenderly at the beginning. I have truly found that God’s kindness leads me to repentance.
God spoke through multiple means. He was speaking to me in my quiet times about the way He saw me. He used a woman from 24:14 to speak a timely word that she could only have had from him at our training school launch night. He also used Donelle during our retreat. All of this speaking was encouraging to me but also helped me honestly face and deal with where I was at. Repentance came quickly but healing has taken time. I think part of that is that I have had time to walk in my new thoughts.
The first step for me was choosing to trust God again. We have covered this. The only thing I want to add to that was from Jimmy. He said we can choose our values, feed our values and learn our values. I had to choose to believe and keep God’s goodness as central in my thoughts. I needed to feed myself the truth about God’s goodness.
The next huge step was from brokenness. God was working on this area even before the first teaching. The women’s retreat was powerful to me. Christi Osborn was speaking and sharing from John 15. She began talking about being pruned and showed a picture of a pruned crape myrtle. It looked awful! Yet we all know how they look when they bloom. This gave me hope as I felt at least somewhat like the pruned crape myrtle.
The picture really helped the next weekend when I was unimpressed and disappointed in myself and God on our outreach weekend. It helped later as I accepted my own brokenness and then looked to my identity.
I was sobered by Nancy DeMoss’ teaching but really struck as I went through the list of differences between proud and broken people. I am self-protective, want to be recognized, think of what I can do for God, defensive and care greatly what others think of me. As I really worked through these things over the next few days, God pointed out that my pride and these sinful ways it manifested was the main reason I need healing. I would not have been nearly as disappointed if I was truly joining God in what He was doing instead of trying to impress God and others with what I could do. I would not have felt as rejected or accused by other Christians if I was more honest with myself, God and others about my faults and failures. I also wouldn’t need their approval if I was looking only to please my Jesus. My healing only really began to come when I realized that my sin was what caused my wounds. It was a painful thing to see but at the same time it was wonderfully freeing. I will never be able to be what I want to or attain spirituality from my own efforts.
This is where the healing completed with identity. The truths I learned here weren’t new. So many were right out of Victory Over the Darkness which we had already read. However, now I was free to see myself and my need for these truths much more clearly. Margie Atwood came and shared about identity. It was a perfect balance. I am broken and a sinner yet through Jesus I am his righteousness. I am complete in Jesus. (Col.2:10) I have died to sin (Gal. 2:20) and can be free of the sinful mind patterns, the lies I was believing. I don’t have to strive, feel fear or shame. I am a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17) The Spirit is greater than the flesh and I am one Spirit with Jesus (1 Cor.6:17). I just have to quit petting and pampering my flesh. I need to reckon it dead!
These truths helped insure that I wouldn’t allow Satan to bind me with shame over my sin. Margie’s personal authority on identity issues gave me hope and determination to become like her. One who trains my mind, guards my thoughts and believes/experiences union with God on a daily basis.
The forth change is a paradigm shift that is occurring. I have been working on new thought patterns in the realm of good, evil and obedience. The two teachings that have spurred this change are Radical Obedience and Grace vs. Law. I happen to think that both Robert Herber and Jimmy were pretty balanced as they spoke on these subjects.
Robert talked about the baptism of fire. He said how we respond during the squeeze is one of the greatest determining factors in how we are used by God. Robert encouraged us to keep pressing into God. A picture he painted that has impacted me was of diving in the ocean. He said the deeper we go it gets darker, there is more pressure and the oxygen keeps getting farther away. Some of our friends will turn and swim back up but if we want all that God has for us we must go through it.
The balance to all of this was that we are obedient and sacrifice to bless the heart of Jesus. The goal is to do a beautiful thing to Jesus like the woman in Mark 14 who poured out her nard on Jesus. This also means we only do what we see the Father doing. The shift that started to happen was in how I judge myself, others, actions and activities in general. Perhaps this will lead me to one day not judge that which I shouldn’t but right now I do tend to judge and this is a better frame work to use.
Jimmy explained it even more clearly to me. He said good and evil will plague you. When you feel you have done well you will feel good. When you feel you have done poorly you will feel evil. Good apart from God’s grace is only self-righteous anyway. We don’t have to be good or evil. We just have to be Jesus’.
I have tried to judge good and evil in my life. So many of my expectations and life codes if you will are due to good and evil. However, since following Jesus this should no longer be my measure. I need to look to Jesus continually. Deciding what I should or should not be doing based on his grace. Here I do not mean grace to be license but rather God’s personal direction and power for me on a moment by moment bases.
The other part of the talk that helps balance and works perfectly with Robert’s exhortation to go through the baptism of fire is to start everyday with God’s original intent for man. That God made man in his image, that he made us to bless us and that God gave us purpose. I can trust God during the times I feel pressure or pain because I know that his intention toward me is good and he has a purpose for me.
I know that this is a change that is no where near completion. I have a long way to go before I relate to God and evaluate things rightly. However, I have begun. I know one who is faithful to complete it.
The fifth change is in learning to hear God. I have heard and been led by God but I am becoming more sensitive. I need to practice more still but I can see that I am making progress.
A couple of examples are when we were encouraged to prophesy over each other in 4s with Joe Ewen, an experience I had in church and my own devotional life. I didn’t think I had anything I felt like God was saying to Jacob (the first person to go in my group) through me when Joe Ewen told us to prophesy over each other by saying when I look at you I see…. However, I was told to do this so I did say what came to mind. In God’s graciousness Jacob said something along the lines of, Thanks, that confirms and is even a little more specific/clear of a word Shoan just gave me. I was encouraged and continued to risk with the rest of my group.
In my devotional life speakers, like Gus Hunter, have encouraged us to practice hearing God by asking him what he thinks of me, or what do you want to say to me today? I have done this on occasion and am learning to take what I “hear” as from God. So often this is not the big forceful answer I want when I am asking something of God. It is just a little impression but I am taking risks and finding that often the impression or small voice is from God.
Another example happened after Steve Nicholson spoke to us about Healing. I was in church and just had a slight impression that the Holy Spirit was doing something in the lady next to me. I asked if she sensed or could think of anything but ended up with nothing. So I asked if I could just bless what ever the Spirit was doing inside of her. She said that was fine and as I prayed I felt the Spirit flowing through me. It was like a current. It was not until the end that the lady said she thought God was empowering her with the gift of healing. The important thing for me was that I was encouraged to take the risk even when I just have a small sense God might be doing or saying something.
Those were my experiences but what speaker has said is what brought me to the place to try. Gus Hunter pointed out that some of our stumbling blocks to hearing God have to do with being worthy or able. He says our righteousness is from God (Romans 1:17) as is our ability to do anything. His example for this is when Jesus called Peter out onto the water. The ability comes from Jesus, all he wants from us is faith. Gus also told us you can’t explaining “hearing God” technically, you must experience it, like laughing.
Robert Fuller said, “You may look like a fool but you will never regret obedience. You will regret playing it safe.” “Our responsibility is to yield to God.” “You don’t arrive. It is a bunch of nows.” These quotes are powerful to me. The “It is a bunch of nows.” Quote is helpful to me because it simplifies life. What am I being called to do or share now? That is all I need to worry about.
Steve Nicholson is the other speaker who really helped me grow in this area. He said God is always at work and he is always trying to tell us what he is doing. For those who think we don’t “hear” or “see” what God is doing, we see a lot more than we think we do. This made me realize, God is showing me things and wants to use me to bring his kingdom to others. I just need to learn to pay attention to the little “senses” and see what he would have me do with those. This is exciting to realize but also carries with it a responsibility to pay attention for other people’s sakes.
To keep “Hearing God”, “the Holy Spirit” and “Healing” in balance I will speak for a moment of the word of God. Fred Nelson has been great to listen to about the authority of the Bible and the survey of the Old Testament. What I appreciate most about him though is how he makes those topics personal and applicable so they do not just become head knowledge. I was challenged when Fred spoke about the authority of the Bible being attacked and then pointed out how it is being attacked by each of us in our own personal lives. He asked if we let pain or experiences dictate instead of God’s word. I think to some extent I have and was motivated to repent and declare again that the word of God was going to be the foundation of my life and beliefs.
The first semester of elevate has facilitated some good changes in me. I am thankful we have another semester to go as I want to see God continue to transform me and cement the things that I begun to walk in. I am grateful to God for this time in our (Jason and my) lives. We are also grateful to Antioch as a church and especially to y’all.
I am especially struggling with separating choosing to fully trust God again, increased faith and emotional healing. These three are messy because my life is messy, but I will try and be clear in each change and believe that you will be able to see how these are continually leaking all over each other.
At the beginning of elevate I was withholding part of myself from God. Through disappointment and trial I began to agree with some of Satan’s accusations against God. For example, maybe God doesn’t always have my best in mind and God might use me (as in an abusive way). However, I knew enough that I also couldn’t walk away from ministry. Matthew 16:25 says, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” I was trying to save a part of my life.
Early on in the semester I realized where I was at. I saw some of the accusations I made against God and the lies that they were. I knew that I needed to come back to the place where I trusted God fully.
The Father Heart of God was a great teaching to speak the truth of how deeply God loves, how interested He is in me and how He sees even when no one else does. I loved the picture John Dawson painted of David laying down his life for the sheep when the lion came. He said, ”No one saw that night except all of heaven.” It was a good reminder that God is not like us. That even my attempts to trust Him can inspire Him. He also mentioned that God is interested in us and attracted to us. That God delights in my appearance. These comments washed my mind with their truth.
Gus Hunter came to speak about hearing God but over and over his message was, “Don’t try to be in control. It is about trusting God no matter what happens.” One of his examples was Mary and the events leading up to Jesus’ birth (and beyond). Gus told us the purpose of life was becoming one with the person of God. Vessels filled with and one with God. These were great exhortations to repent and relax fully in the hands of God.
The other teaching that was a real kicker in this area was Relinquishing Rights. As I have already stated there were rights I was trying to hold onto. I could relate when Loren said, “Often it is the little things we won’t relinquish”. Some of the little things were wrong goals. Neil Anderson points out in Victory Over the Darkness, we can tell when we have the wrong goals when we are easily irritated or frustrated. The light bulb was going on. As I chose to relinquish rights I was holding onto, I trusted God with them. I now have less fear than I did before because I am not trying to protect myself or my kids. At least, not from God and what He might ask me to do.
The second change I will share is that my faith has been built up. Joe Ewen gave Jason and me Psalm 34:10 and told us to plaster it all over our house. Psalm 34:10 says, “The lions may grow weak and hungry but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” He broke off a fear of lack that I wasn’t even aware of but that was certainly there. Part of the implications were financial but that was only part.
I have been a little afraid of the need with which we will encounter in Africa. There will be such a material and emotional need. Yet God also spoke to us through Joe about God doing miracles like he did with the loaves and the fishes. When we give the little that we have, He will multiple it to meet the need and have an abundance left over. This is a promise I am holding onto and keeping before me. It is changing the way I think. One little example is eating out with my family. I love to give and can be extravagant (for us) when giving to God. However, eating out as I was growing up was often looked at as wasteful. I can be a tight wad for sure, so though Jason would love to, I rarely would go along with eating out. Now I am still all for being a good steward but I am no longer a tight wad because of fearing lack in the future. Now I can go out occasionally just to enjoy God’s provision.
The deal with my faith growing along the lines of lack goes further though. Bill Johnson was teaching on Jesus being in the boat with the disciples. Jesus told the disciples to beware of the yeast of the Pharisees. The disciples didn’t understand and thought He might be saying this because they had not brought bread. Bill shares Jesus’ response to the disciples and the question that has haunted me is, “Why do you begin to reason with what you lack?” Jesus then took the disciples through a thought process showing them that when they had more people to feed and less food they had more leftovers. God is not limited by our lack.
I still can easily slip into my old patterns for thinking but I am noticing a change. It is not just knowing that God can do the impossible with my mind. My spirit has changed, or been strengthened perhaps, in this area. John Dawson said that we should expect God to be generous with us. Not that it is our right. We don’t demand it but we should have expectation. I think that is a good description of where I am at.
The third change I have seen is emotional healing and restoration. God affirmed me in multiple ways at the beginning of the semester that He was going to do this. It has taken until the end of the semester to say it has happened. I needed God to come speak restoration and treat me tenderly at the beginning. I have truly found that God’s kindness leads me to repentance.
God spoke through multiple means. He was speaking to me in my quiet times about the way He saw me. He used a woman from 24:14 to speak a timely word that she could only have had from him at our training school launch night. He also used Donelle during our retreat. All of this speaking was encouraging to me but also helped me honestly face and deal with where I was at. Repentance came quickly but healing has taken time. I think part of that is that I have had time to walk in my new thoughts.
The first step for me was choosing to trust God again. We have covered this. The only thing I want to add to that was from Jimmy. He said we can choose our values, feed our values and learn our values. I had to choose to believe and keep God’s goodness as central in my thoughts. I needed to feed myself the truth about God’s goodness.
The next huge step was from brokenness. God was working on this area even before the first teaching. The women’s retreat was powerful to me. Christi Osborn was speaking and sharing from John 15. She began talking about being pruned and showed a picture of a pruned crape myrtle. It looked awful! Yet we all know how they look when they bloom. This gave me hope as I felt at least somewhat like the pruned crape myrtle.
The picture really helped the next weekend when I was unimpressed and disappointed in myself and God on our outreach weekend. It helped later as I accepted my own brokenness and then looked to my identity.
I was sobered by Nancy DeMoss’ teaching but really struck as I went through the list of differences between proud and broken people. I am self-protective, want to be recognized, think of what I can do for God, defensive and care greatly what others think of me. As I really worked through these things over the next few days, God pointed out that my pride and these sinful ways it manifested was the main reason I need healing. I would not have been nearly as disappointed if I was truly joining God in what He was doing instead of trying to impress God and others with what I could do. I would not have felt as rejected or accused by other Christians if I was more honest with myself, God and others about my faults and failures. I also wouldn’t need their approval if I was looking only to please my Jesus. My healing only really began to come when I realized that my sin was what caused my wounds. It was a painful thing to see but at the same time it was wonderfully freeing. I will never be able to be what I want to or attain spirituality from my own efforts.
This is where the healing completed with identity. The truths I learned here weren’t new. So many were right out of Victory Over the Darkness which we had already read. However, now I was free to see myself and my need for these truths much more clearly. Margie Atwood came and shared about identity. It was a perfect balance. I am broken and a sinner yet through Jesus I am his righteousness. I am complete in Jesus. (Col.2:10) I have died to sin (Gal. 2:20) and can be free of the sinful mind patterns, the lies I was believing. I don’t have to strive, feel fear or shame. I am a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17) The Spirit is greater than the flesh and I am one Spirit with Jesus (1 Cor.6:17). I just have to quit petting and pampering my flesh. I need to reckon it dead!
These truths helped insure that I wouldn’t allow Satan to bind me with shame over my sin. Margie’s personal authority on identity issues gave me hope and determination to become like her. One who trains my mind, guards my thoughts and believes/experiences union with God on a daily basis.
The forth change is a paradigm shift that is occurring. I have been working on new thought patterns in the realm of good, evil and obedience. The two teachings that have spurred this change are Radical Obedience and Grace vs. Law. I happen to think that both Robert Herber and Jimmy were pretty balanced as they spoke on these subjects.
Robert talked about the baptism of fire. He said how we respond during the squeeze is one of the greatest determining factors in how we are used by God. Robert encouraged us to keep pressing into God. A picture he painted that has impacted me was of diving in the ocean. He said the deeper we go it gets darker, there is more pressure and the oxygen keeps getting farther away. Some of our friends will turn and swim back up but if we want all that God has for us we must go through it.
The balance to all of this was that we are obedient and sacrifice to bless the heart of Jesus. The goal is to do a beautiful thing to Jesus like the woman in Mark 14 who poured out her nard on Jesus. This also means we only do what we see the Father doing. The shift that started to happen was in how I judge myself, others, actions and activities in general. Perhaps this will lead me to one day not judge that which I shouldn’t but right now I do tend to judge and this is a better frame work to use.
Jimmy explained it even more clearly to me. He said good and evil will plague you. When you feel you have done well you will feel good. When you feel you have done poorly you will feel evil. Good apart from God’s grace is only self-righteous anyway. We don’t have to be good or evil. We just have to be Jesus’.
I have tried to judge good and evil in my life. So many of my expectations and life codes if you will are due to good and evil. However, since following Jesus this should no longer be my measure. I need to look to Jesus continually. Deciding what I should or should not be doing based on his grace. Here I do not mean grace to be license but rather God’s personal direction and power for me on a moment by moment bases.
The other part of the talk that helps balance and works perfectly with Robert’s exhortation to go through the baptism of fire is to start everyday with God’s original intent for man. That God made man in his image, that he made us to bless us and that God gave us purpose. I can trust God during the times I feel pressure or pain because I know that his intention toward me is good and he has a purpose for me.
I know that this is a change that is no where near completion. I have a long way to go before I relate to God and evaluate things rightly. However, I have begun. I know one who is faithful to complete it.
The fifth change is in learning to hear God. I have heard and been led by God but I am becoming more sensitive. I need to practice more still but I can see that I am making progress.
A couple of examples are when we were encouraged to prophesy over each other in 4s with Joe Ewen, an experience I had in church and my own devotional life. I didn’t think I had anything I felt like God was saying to Jacob (the first person to go in my group) through me when Joe Ewen told us to prophesy over each other by saying when I look at you I see…. However, I was told to do this so I did say what came to mind. In God’s graciousness Jacob said something along the lines of, Thanks, that confirms and is even a little more specific/clear of a word Shoan just gave me. I was encouraged and continued to risk with the rest of my group.
In my devotional life speakers, like Gus Hunter, have encouraged us to practice hearing God by asking him what he thinks of me, or what do you want to say to me today? I have done this on occasion and am learning to take what I “hear” as from God. So often this is not the big forceful answer I want when I am asking something of God. It is just a little impression but I am taking risks and finding that often the impression or small voice is from God.
Another example happened after Steve Nicholson spoke to us about Healing. I was in church and just had a slight impression that the Holy Spirit was doing something in the lady next to me. I asked if she sensed or could think of anything but ended up with nothing. So I asked if I could just bless what ever the Spirit was doing inside of her. She said that was fine and as I prayed I felt the Spirit flowing through me. It was like a current. It was not until the end that the lady said she thought God was empowering her with the gift of healing. The important thing for me was that I was encouraged to take the risk even when I just have a small sense God might be doing or saying something.
Those were my experiences but what speaker has said is what brought me to the place to try. Gus Hunter pointed out that some of our stumbling blocks to hearing God have to do with being worthy or able. He says our righteousness is from God (Romans 1:17) as is our ability to do anything. His example for this is when Jesus called Peter out onto the water. The ability comes from Jesus, all he wants from us is faith. Gus also told us you can’t explaining “hearing God” technically, you must experience it, like laughing.
Robert Fuller said, “You may look like a fool but you will never regret obedience. You will regret playing it safe.” “Our responsibility is to yield to God.” “You don’t arrive. It is a bunch of nows.” These quotes are powerful to me. The “It is a bunch of nows.” Quote is helpful to me because it simplifies life. What am I being called to do or share now? That is all I need to worry about.
Steve Nicholson is the other speaker who really helped me grow in this area. He said God is always at work and he is always trying to tell us what he is doing. For those who think we don’t “hear” or “see” what God is doing, we see a lot more than we think we do. This made me realize, God is showing me things and wants to use me to bring his kingdom to others. I just need to learn to pay attention to the little “senses” and see what he would have me do with those. This is exciting to realize but also carries with it a responsibility to pay attention for other people’s sakes.
To keep “Hearing God”, “the Holy Spirit” and “Healing” in balance I will speak for a moment of the word of God. Fred Nelson has been great to listen to about the authority of the Bible and the survey of the Old Testament. What I appreciate most about him though is how he makes those topics personal and applicable so they do not just become head knowledge. I was challenged when Fred spoke about the authority of the Bible being attacked and then pointed out how it is being attacked by each of us in our own personal lives. He asked if we let pain or experiences dictate instead of God’s word. I think to some extent I have and was motivated to repent and declare again that the word of God was going to be the foundation of my life and beliefs.
The first semester of elevate has facilitated some good changes in me. I am thankful we have another semester to go as I want to see God continue to transform me and cement the things that I begun to walk in. I am grateful to God for this time in our (Jason and my) lives. We are also grateful to Antioch as a church and especially to y’all.
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